One of the most Frequently Asked Questions we receive at our website concerns dating one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s not uncommon for someone outside of their religion to join our Meetup group in order to seek advice from ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses in this matter. Such was the case in April 2014. A woman joined stating that she had met and fell in love with a wonderful guy. 6 months into the relationship, he told her he was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Like most people, she didn’t realize what a difficult strain that would put on their relationship, but here she was another 6 months later, at a “dead end” wondering why he was “scared to death” and wanting to leave her so he could be a more “devoted Jehovah’s Witness.”
Our on line discussion began with one member’s reminder to her that Jehovah’s Witnesses are instructed not to marry outside their religion. We began to teach this woman about the fear her boyfriend was going through in the prospect of losing his friends and family in addition to dying as an apostate at Armageddon. Even if he was convicted to leave his religion and marry her, the loss of family and the cult teachings could remain in him a long time. I asked “are you prepared for that?” Wanting to be upfront and honest with her, I said, “Dating this guy is full of trouble. Love has power to conquer, yes, but you need to give it serious thought how willing you are to endure and stay the full course with him. It’s a lot easier to get out of a dating relationship now than a marriage later. If you choose to pursue marriage and stand firm to HELP him leave the Watchtower, are you prepared for the possibility of him being triggered back into it — especially if children come along?”
We provided her with the FAQ link to several articles on the topic at our website and continued to listen to her story. She did not want to abandon him, yet began to see the reality of the situation. Within a month, she had to come to terms with his decision to remain in the cult and drop their relationship. She was naturally depressed at the outcome, but her eyes were now open to the dangers of this pseudo-Christian sect as evidenced by her recent observation;
“I was watching a video we filmed on our last vacation together… We were sitting at a cafe and as I thought at the time, were enjoying the great view and the people all around us drinking coffee chatting and laughing… I was really happy and thought that he was too. At least that is what he kept telling me all this time. So, as I was watching the video to refresh those memories I suddenly out of nowhere noticed for the very first time that he was not as peaceful and happy as he claimed to be! It was really obvious considering the movements, the expression, the look on his face that he was anxious… He kept turning his head around and watching the crowd, trying to figure out whether there was anyone familiar around, he was totally distracted and kept scratching his neck. It is all very clear to me now… He was suffering. During the whole relationship he felt like a fugitive! I can’t believe I didn’t notice that earlier! How can anyone enjoy life like that? It was a simple coffee, a great relationship and an even greater environment… STILL FORBIDDEN.”
Wow. That was quite a revelation on her part. Isn’t it interesting that she did not really notice his paranoia earlier in the relationship? She thanked each of us who shared our personal stories, prayers, and advice and ended her post with a question:
“…is there any chance that JWs are being hypnotized in any way during their meetings?”
Keep yourself in God’s love, Julie
For More Information on Dating and Marriage, see this link https://www.4jehovah.org/ex-jehovahs-witnesses/faq-dating-and-marriage/
